Hannan just left for York yesterday and I feel so terribly lonely since he left until now. We spent only three weeks together, two weeks in York and a week in Coventry and I miss him already ='(. I hate this feeling. We did a lot.. but if I talk about it now I will only feel more sad. I'll tell you guys about it when I start uni saja ok?

I am in my 5th week of Easter Holidays and a lot has happened during the holidays but before that, I shall talk about things since after my last post.

A lot of good things has happened in the last two months. Ada minor earthquake and a bomb scare in Coventry.

I'll just tell you guys about some of the things that has happened. We had a netball tournament at Leceister where we got 4th out of 5 groups. I saw Rabia in Leceister! But we didn't speak to each other much as she was busy with the whole event while I was playing netball for BruWick. Tired and stuff, I then left for London for Brunei Night. Aku jumpa Nads.

A week later it was Easter Games held by the Bruneians at Nottingham. I saw Nads, Aiman, Mali, Elmi, Val, Hannan, Zeerah, Farah, Kaydee, Qils, Wani and a lot more other ex-JIS. BruWick got 4th out of 13 groups which I was so proud of! Since it's my seniors' last years, only most of the seniors played and kicked ass. The next day I had another netball tournament at Warwick against Nottingham where we got 3rd out of 3 groups! And were still given medals :p.

I got bored in Coventry doing nothing because me and Hannan weren't in good terms at that time so didn't go to York as soon as my holidays started. I then planned to hang out with Izzah and Nads in London, mostly because lama sudah inda liat si Izzah and aku chatting sama ia saja about the most random and juicy things and we need to gossip more face to face. Sekali my Mum texted me saying she'll be in London with Papa for 3 days from that coming Sunday and asked if I'd be free. I immediately replied "YES! SEE YOU SOON!" I was so happy to be seeing my parents since inda balik this 5-week Easter Holidays.

While in London we met up with Aiman, Mali, Val and Hannan. We all had fun but it was short pasal si Izzah masih ada uni the next week and I was meeting my parents that Sunday.

While reaching the hotel room, my parents asked me to go to my room and I was like "Ok, but my luggage is with you". But I just followed orders, I saw a camera on the bed, peanut butter M&Ms and a jacket on the chair, which I thought the cleaner had left. I thought I was going to be surprised with an object or something, camera kah Mp3 kah. I kept walking until the walk-in closet and screamed with joy when I saw Aliiyah and Najmi! With tears (literally) of happiness, I told them I had missed them and that I was so close to posting them "I Miss You" cards. I actually had eyeliner on (didn't think I'd cry that day) and I didn't blow-dry my hair so it looked awful. That was how unprepared I was (ok, that's nothing, but it's enough for me :p).

I felt sad that I was not going back for Easter, I was missing home and everyone every night until Easter Holidays so you can imagine how happy I was to see my whole family again. My siblings were on their Easter Holidays as well but since Papa and Mama were only in London for 3 days I thought durang inda kana bawa because it was too short. My parents were indeed good with the surprise I must admit.

When I had to leave them for Coventry on Wednesday I felt so sad but am so thankful they came and we had a lot of fun time together. I then left for York the same day and spent my time with Hannan until yesterday afternoon =(. One good thing after the next, now, nothing =( and back to books. I was in library from 12pm to 7pm surang2 belajar today. But didn't feel lonely macam di bilik.

My exams start on the 28th of May until June 9th. I am going back on the 17th of June from Heathrow!! That's in two months!! I am sooo looking forward to that. But before that exams which sucks balls because I have 8 papers and they are not easy. Anyway, I'll be in Brunei for almost 4 months until the 2nd/3rd day of Raya.

So update on the people we're all familiar with. Nads ada boyfriend dari Oxford namanya Hanif. They look good together. Si Izzah punya rambut panjang sudah and ada orang suka si Izzah namanya si B, ia dari Car (haha). Izzah mula2 suka si A (ia pun dari Car haha). Kawan si A ani si B. Since Izzah selalu cakap to si B pasal si A, si B telah jatuh cinta kepada Izzah hahaha. Bah Izzah kalau malu and mahu correct me, baiktah blog daleng. Si Aiman masih sama si Mali, durang the most loving couple I've ever seen. I am still with Hannan and I am happy (and rambutku pun panjang haha).

Seluarku sampit so I have to.. hmmm.. exercise or diet. Cemana ni ah? Hahah. I want neither.

Connie bestfriendku di Warwick is going to be back here soon. Two days!

I actually can go to (and want to) York ikut Hannan (until next week, nada class first week) tapi if I didn't let him go yesterday it'll be harder for me to let him go when it is time.. He has an exam on my birthday =( I'd go to York, but I know I will stay there lama2 sampai susah kan leave. Even after more than 2 1/2 years (iakah?) Hannan is still the best thing that's ever happened to me. Siuk jadi girlfriendnya haha.

Sorry post panjang ngalih membaca.

Bah Linie, indaku recognise kau lagi, pikirku Amoi mana lagi ni sasat memblog arah blog kami. Haha, you look so cute in the photo!

Liana, manakah engkau pergi?

Rabia, Rabia!!!!!

Yang lain yang terasa atu (yang in UK ah.. ada tiga bini2, nama durang start with I, N and A) baiktah blog. Meriahkan tah lagi blog ani.

Ok then. I feel much better after blogging. Jangan sedih girls, I miss all of you too, ok! (it's true!) We should hang out macam gila in summer soon! Yaaaaaaay!

Now to photos!! (that I have, the rest on facebook kalau rajin kan meliat :p)


While he was in Coventry in February/early March.


In Nads's room


On Nads floor, the duvet was so comfortable!


Dinner with Harris (he's in Sheffield) at Nando's. Me and Hannan bakas shopping di Bicester so we were tired.


Photo on Hannan's last day in Cov. He refused to take decent photos. Maybe because I am not Mali. Ha ha.

Bye!

Labels: catching up on life, emotional

Happy new year!

Today as I walked out of my place of stay at Warwick, I just realised that I'm in universtiy. It's quite a strange feeling because I've no clue on what university was about when I looked upon KaDhil's experience in Surrey University 4 years ago. Seeing students like me walking out of their accommodation, rushing to lectures, it made me realise, I've grown up. A bit too quickly. It rather sucks because I easily feel sad thinking about home.. wanting to come back all the time.

As I stepped into my room on Sunday at noon, after a month of leaving it alone, I broke down. Endlessly. The room was so empty.. sure it had pictures of my family and friends but that just made me cry even more. I am alone now. I was feeling really sad having to continue this life of mine for another three years. I was online with Hannan, asking him why are we doing this to ourselves? Why can't everybody be happy and be at the same place? As sad as I was, Hannan comforted me as he watched me through my webcam with teary eyes but I got a bit better with his company. I am glad I have someone like Hannan to help me through all of this because it's very painful at the beginning.

I miss home, I really do. This feeling is funny because I was home last Saturday and today I am working on essays and going to lectures. Am I missing something? How did that happen?

This year, I am motivated. Sure, I'm not going to be home until 6 months later but I'd like to focus on succesfully finishing first year, even if it doesn't really matter. As I think about how my life would mainly be based in the UK for three years, I know it'll only be the first year that is the hardest. I can get through this. I do feel glad I got to go home but it seems like I didn't spend enough time there..

My siblings are who I miss the most. My parents would be making a visit very soon and I'd expect more of that because well, my Dad's always flying.

I had a good time in Brunei. Hannan brought me out a lot: twice to Bukit Shahbandar, watching sunset the beach on the last day of 2007, singing songs together as he played the guitar on the first day of 2008, brunch and dinner together with the family, helping me with my essays (emotionally and getting data), coming to my house just to visit and he was always checking on me everyday. I never knew I'd ever make such an impact on someone, let alone Hannan. And to think that it has been more than 2 years now? I can't believe it. Yes, I'll never forget the ups and downs but everything looks good now. And he makes me really happy.

My lunch date with the girls was satisfying, being able to catch up even if there were only few of us. I feel guilty because of spending just 2 hours with them out of my 25 days in Brunei. In the summer, I promise I'll plan the outings better.

I'm off to continuing my essays now. I am feeling better since I came.

Sorry for the emotional post, girls.

Labels: catching up, emotional